OF THE NATARAJA IN THE CLASS, THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM AND THE WRITING ON THE WALL

Of the Nataraja in the Class, the Elephant in the Room and the Writing on the Wall

                                             - Nym Nym

Dear Pathu, while dedicating this bit to you, I never thought that it would veer towards and explode into something much more than a mere love letter. Not that the love in the air will be overshadowed by anything greater but that it reminded me of two great litterateurs in the first instance itself. One is the effervescent Faiz Ahmed Faiz who wrote “Mujse Pehlee si Muhabbath Mere Mehboob na Mang’ and the next that Sultan of the written idiom, Salman Rushdi Who penned the line ‘If love is not the whole earth and the sky above it is nothing, worse than dirt’. Yes, Pathu, words are all I have always had to take hearts away! The Boyz’ Zone! But as is said it’s only words! The bubbles…they break, leaving us glum faced, shattered, and dismayed.

But sure you know one thing Pathus, it’s not just the songs tinged with love or loss that you post in our group almost without fail everyday where began my candy crush saga with you but the way you make yourself ubiquitous occupying our mindscape anywhere and everywhere. Be it Holi or Kisi ki Shaadi, your very presence lights up my days and numbs my dreams which were already past their expiry date. At this post midnight hour when I write this, what better image could come to my mind than the Nataraja posture you carved yourself into with that unique  expression of yours mocking the entire universe not to speak of our self deprecating prick of a class teacher on whose table you stood up with your gala-pose! I was baptized on that very instant from a fanboy to an eternal admirer.

Talking of the Elephant in the Room Pathu, it’s the love that we are all vulnerable to at this age that our teachers talk the least of and our text books care not a hoot about! Talking of love again, I wonder if our never to mature into good reading friends who write in the blog waxing eloquent on Khaled Hosseini and Co would ever have heard of Elif Shafak and her “The Forty Rules of Love.” Between I adore the eyes of Elif Shafak and would love you to love them too! That’s how it is between lovers, isn’t it?

How do we carry the burden of love? Do we put it on our sleeve for everyone to have a crack at it or do we water it day in and day out hoping against hope willing against our will in a Zen like meditation? Whatever it is, it is one of our classmates who told me that her ambition was to do something great in life which would be worthy of her Ex. Almost everybody at our age carries forward either a crush or a serious affair from our pre-college days. Others are so anxious about some stardust falling on them anytime sooner. Our loves shape us the way nothing else do! They groom us, carve us and mould us to such an extent that we become the product of our loves! In the midst of all this the tumultuous years of hormonal changes of our end of teens dictate and overrule how we live our lives. In between we have the business of studies and classrooms and assignments and exams! How little the teachers understand our priorities. One does commit to another with the hope that every happiness on earth befalls the beloved not to speak of our eternal trust and devotion.

One has to. At some point in life one has to surrender oneself at the altar of love. One has to cave in. But you know Pathu, the selflessness one adheres to and the reciprocity one takes for granted do not always translate into those sagas of eternal bliss! One finds in the journey of life that freedom and care of the self for one and the other are the most important things in life. If one gives in at the cost of freedom and self actualization one hurts oneself the most. One hurts the idea of ‘love’ the most, one hurts the beloved the most. Seasons change! So do people. Only one’s self remains which is also subject to flux.

Hence dear, the Writing is pretty much on the wall. Love’s spring would wait if it finds itself worth waiting. It would flow like an endless stream if it is truly deserving! But not at the cost of our freedoms! The freedom to be! The freedom to be happy! The freedom to dance and sing and in company with whoever we want to! The freedom to raise a toast to oneself! The freedom to earn our livelihood and lead a life of dignity! The freedom not to depend on and wait for anyone’s mercy!

This is the time! This is all the time we have! The prime of our life! Let the elixir of love flow in unison with all our aspirations and dreams! But not at the cost of our freedoms and dreams! Haven’t you heard this, ‘What do they know of love who only love knows?’ There are other kinds of dreams! There are untrodden ways! There is a world out there which waits for our embrace. Let us embrace it with open arms. Let us live our life to the fullest as much as possible.